How to Start Over and getting it right from the very start is both Exciting and Terrifying at the same time.

This is my very first Blog on my freedom Design Website. Reading this may be your own very first attempt at changing your own entire life. If you have stumbled on this website or this particular post then my sincerest of welcome to you.

You are obviously looking to make changes and seek a little direction on how best to do this. We are all looking for a better life or a better version of ourselves but in today's world, it is extremely difficult.

We are beginning to wake up or realizing that all is not what we thought it was in this world.  The world is quite a disturbing place to live in when you really think about it. So much violence and unhappiness surround us on a daily basis and we unconsciously absorb all of this.

Our ideas and attitudes become distorted and confused as we try to make sense of why we are here and what the hell we are supposed to do in this world. Many of us never really get to experience who we really are with so much confusion around.

My own Journey

My own journey was just the same as anyone else, struggling to make sense of it all. I grew up as a very quiet child in the 60s and 70s and never quite felt like I fitted into this world. It all seemed so foreign to me. It was as if I was dropped in a war zone and told: " you are on your own ". I pretty much felt like that all my life if I'm honest.

By the time I was in my mid-teens, I had programmed myself to this world and just Joined into all the dramas it had to offer. Those dramas would follow me for most of my life as I got up to all sorts of negative activities.

I've always seen myself as an experiencer. Always trying to try out as much of this messed up life as possible. At the same time, I have always known that I was not really being myself and that the child within me knew better.

That Child, unfortunately, went to ground a long time ago as the mere sight of it in this world was unacceptable to all around me. That child was bullied constantly and totally misunderstood to parents and siblings who had already accepted how we must live in this world. It took me longer to accept my faith and I just lived by the seat of my pants and allow occurrences and circumstances dictate my future.

Decision Time

It was only much later on in life that I could no longer live to the tune of how others behaved and expected from me and decided that enough was enough. I think everyone comes to a point like this in their lives. Some will try to break free from the grips of this false reality but will go back to its addictive embrace.

Better the fool you know than the fool you don't know I suppose. Some will decide that they cannot live in either world and leave this place in a dramatic fashion. Suicide rates in this world is a million a year. This is a shocking statistic when you really think about it.

Then there are people who want to experience more from this life. They get what's going on and they know that they are caught up in some mad cosmic experiment that none of us really understand. They want to experience life on their own terms and seek help with this transition.

That's not an easy thing to do, as life as we have learned to know it, will seize to exist the way it was before. It can be a very frightening experience as we attempt to break free from our own programmed minds.

Hard times

I was one of those people only a few years ago. I did have that feeling to change about 20 years ago and trained as a hypnotherapist. The timing wasn't right to make the big transition. I remember my life being full of Drama and turmoil at the time.

Many past decisions I had made were coming to the surface at that time and it was a very traumatic time for me. I was separating from my wife of 10 years. We had three beautiful children and being separated from them took its toll on me for many years.

Addictions

I was a binge Drinker and went on binges for days at a time, addicted to Gambling and spent my time hiding out in the local bookies. I was always broke and worked very hard building businesses for others, in massive debt and extremely Depressed about how my life had taken a turn for the worst. Of course, everyone was wrong except me.

I was the victim and everyone was giving me such a hard time. I blamed my parents especially and right up to their deaths in both cases. They had allowed me to go this path when they both separated and left us all to fend for ourselves I thought.

I ran away from home at 15 along with my sweetheart. We decided to move away and get away from all the madness. Little did we know that all the madness was inside both of us. In Fact, all the madness is inside all of us. This decision would be the beginning of a very slippery slope that would lead me into a violent and angry life ahead.

Angry

I was constantly in fights with all sorts who came in my way. Always with drink involved and the next morning serious guilt and depression to follow. This behavior was like a merry go round right up until my 40s.  My first sweetheart ended up in the UK years later and was brought home in a coffin after plunging to her death off a 14 story building.

We had stayed together for a few years after we both ran away but she wanted to get away even further and  decided to move to the UK. I refused to go and that was that. I remember getting the news and it shook me to the bone. Married at the time but it was like I was still connected to her in some unknown way. I don't think I ever felt pain like it before.

Forgiving the past

I could go on and on about instances I had and maybe I will share more as I create my blogs. I have made peace with all of my past so when I share, I am just giving you an idea where I was. If I can change. then anyone reading this can do the same.

It was only when I forgave myself, I realized that my poor parents were no different than myself. They were just trying to survive in this fucked up world just like me. This was my turning point and I decided that things needed to change.

My life was a right mess at the time and on top of that, the guilt of knowing how badly I messed up was very painful for me at this time. I had gone into a downward spiral for decades and couldn't see it before.

What keeps all this madness  going is making excuses for it until you realize that it's you that has done this to yourself.  The Reality is that we all have this shadow side or dark side to our nature and the more we nurture it the further we go down the rabbit hole into oblivion.

Nurturing the good in you

I have learned that if you decide you want a better life, full of happiness and opportunity,  you must learn to nurture the good side of you, The truth in you. The forgiving side but always be aware of the other side too. It has a habit of coming out to play when you least expect it so discipline and awareness are keys to your success.

Once you are aware, you are already changing, you have identified it, you have seen it for what it is, you know it very well and what its capabilities are. You know this because it's part of you whether you like it or not. Your Job is to keep this at bay by listening to the good in you day after day. This takes practice and lots of time.

I started this process by simply walking. I can tell you now that I walked countless miles during this time and needed every bit of it. It saved me from cracking up with all the crap I had been through and had put myself through. I was like a soldier after coming home from the war with all the battle scars.

Long walks

It was on those walks that I began to really hear what was going on in my mind. The rubbish that was there, came out in bucket loads and I wrestled with myself as I went along. Everything I could ever think about and more came to the surface and more along with it.  Years and years of opinions, attitudes, traumas, events, all surfaced like an eruption in my mind.

I tried to block everything that came up and to think about nice things. this was my way at the time to change the way of my thinking. I quickly realized that allowing everything to the surface was the only way. It all needed to be addressed.

I started to look at all my thoughts and see it from a different perspective over time, my higher self if you like, that little bit of respectability I had left inside of me. As each thought came up I resolved it in time by looking at it from the honesty of my mind.

I wanted to see this different point of view that was ignored for most of my life. I quickly realized that I had only looked at everything from just one point of view throughout my life and that was my angry and selfish self. Making peace with those thoughts were vital or they were going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

Make the change

So for all you newbies of change, If you are one of those people that has decided to make that big change then I can tell you that it is possible. Over the years I have learned to bring peace and happiness into my life with a little commitment and desire to change. I want you the reader to experience the same because there is a life out there that is so much better than you think.

All you need is a little direction, some good advice and the courage to look at yourself honestly. Life is a big game when you really boil it all down. The good thing about this game is you can change the rules whenever you like and actually give yourself a very good and happy life.

So follow me on this Journey if you are interested in making changes to your life. Some of you will have bigger ones to make as I did. Some small changes. It doesn't matter as the same recipe applies. I want to show you how by telling you how I did it.

Final Words

So that the first blog guys. I hope you enjoyed it and that you got something from it. I have lots more to talk about and I look forward to sharing my information with you. You are welcome to leave a comment. Maybe share a little bit about you and your experiences. Or maybe you want to follow my blogs by subscribing. It's totally up to you.   Next blog 

Thanks for reading