Freedom Design
Freedom Design

How to manage the Ego

If you are Someone who wants to make changes in your life then you need to know a little about the Ego. The Ego can either be your friend or enemy, depending on how you feed it. The ego has been given quite a reputation in the psychological world and much of the reputation can be very unfair at times.

I like to see It as more like childlike in nature and what you plant into it will be the seeds to how it views the world. It is very much linked to the subconscious part of the mind when all information is received and expressed through the Ego. Ego Can be the most influential when it comes to determining your world.

How does the Ego think? 

It is important to know what is going on inside your own head when making changes in your life. It is not difficult determining this as two things are going on primarily. I like to call this the inner debate.

We have an ego that thinks the way it has learned to think by the experiences in the entirety of its existence. It is the natural Yin and Yang of the human mind and is designed as a balancing mechanism throughout our life. All nature is designed this way so balance can be achieved through the universe.

It is not there to harm you but to teach you how to be in balance. If you are out of balance then your ego will bring you that place to see those changes that need to be made for the betterment of your life. Many will ignore those out of balance places they find themselves in and allow Ego to play out their entire life. This will be an undisciplined life with all its ups and downs and a life that was allowed by the lack of understanding of what balance is.

Many see the Ego as some sort of hidden enemy that resides in us all and are in a constant battle throughout their lives. Some try to outsmart it at times but it knows you better than you know yourself so it is better to get to know the ego just as much as it knows you. It is the physical version of you in every way but it is also your teacher that attempts to show you how you actually see this world from within you.

The thing is, you are also its teacher as you exchange ideas and opinions and ultimately come to a conclusion. It is that conclusion that will determine your would and continue to do so till the next inner debate.

Spiritual Lesson from the Ego 

To get a better idea of the Ego and its purpose we must look at the ego from a more spiritual perspective. More and more people are starting to take this journey and realising that there is more to us that just Subconscious mind & Ego. Some may call this the conscious mind and the higher Mind, being a bigger part of the entire picture of who we actually are.

The Conscious Mind it that part of us that is awake during the day and decides how the entire day is going to go. It is the decision-maker and it has the ability to either accept or not accept the information that is being passed to it by the Ego. If it accepts the Egos view of the world and then it acts this out by thought and then its physical expression out into the world.

That thought and then the action is experienced and is recorded back into the subconscious mind. What I saying here is that you have a kind of conveyer belt system of the subconscious, Ego, Conscious mind, thought, action and then back to the subconscious which records the same thing over and over.

I hope you are seeing a picture develop here. It's a bit the Movie ' Groundhog Day ' where you go through your life and every day the same and a slightly different action makes the day go that little bit different.

This is how most people live today in this vicious circle of the same thing every day with a slightly different outcome. So why is this happening you might ask?

Have you ever asked your self why is this always happening to me over and over again?  Why do I always find myself in a bad relationship or why am I always broke and the list goes on and on and on. Are you beginning to see the picture yet ??   If you are not then I will continue.

You have allowed your self to live this way. It's not your fault by the way. You have been programmed from the very beginning to think a certain way and to act a certain way. An unsuspecting parent or parents or teacher and the list goes on as to who has influenced you throughout your life.

You have developed habits along the way, Some good and some not so good. All that information has been collected since you were conceived and you continue to collect up information till you leave this place.

The question is, What information do you want to feed your mind now? The same? Or do you have enough of the same old ' Groundhog Day ' Scenario?

If your choice is to Change this information then you have to retrain the mind and the ego along with it. The Ego has had a fairly good time of it up until now. It is like a child that has run riot and you have allowed this behaviour to happen either consciously or unconsciously. How this happened, it really doesn't matter now. What matters is, fixing it so the world you see now, turns into something you actually want.

This journey is not an easy one. You can't just change the Ego overnight. It has to be done very gently and with care. That Ego that got lost needs rescuing and telling it what to do is just not going to work. It needs soft words and Small and encouraging steps towards Change. Not a list as long as your arm and to be done in an instant.

You have to look at this as starting off just like a baby would. Rediscovering everything like it is for the very first time and every experience a joyful one. See the Ego like a newborn baby being introduced into the world. Show that baby what they can achieve with love and care and watch that baby grow to become the person it was meant to be.

It wants that. That's why it's here. It wants to experience life to the best of its ability and grow into another great experience. That's how all nature works. It is simply experiencing itself as it is and then moving off into another experience.

I remember being asked who God was as so many people are confused or do not believe the concept. God to me is the best possible experience that can be experienced in any experience. By doing that you are one with Life and in your most natural state of true awareness.

It is not up in the Sky on sitting on a cloud but right inside all of us in every experience. The bad experiences are a reminder that you are not living in the perfect experience and what you call the bad experiences are only a nudge towards the perfect experience.

Natures intention for you is to be in balance with it and Guide you to your natural state of Being. Everything In nature and the universe works the very same and is in perfect balance so the perfect experience can be achieved. This is where my idea of God resides in whoever or whatever form that exists. No one truly knows the answers to this but can determine their own definition through their own experiences uniquely.

A Small Exercise On How To Manage The Ego

So I am going to give you a few exercises on how to begin to start working with the Ego. Don't worry, is not very hard. In fact, it's quite an enjoyable exercise.


  1. Write a list of all the things that are going wrong in your life. Remember this is your opportunity to empty it all out. Make this list as long as you can. If necessary go for a long walk and think about it.
  2. Write a list of all the things you Currently like in your life. Some of you may have a very short list here or are not enjoying life at all at this time. That's ok. you might like talking to people of having a cup of tea or maybe a walk. If you haven't got much of a list then don't worry. this will change.
  3. White down all the things you would love and want in your life. Put down everything no matter what it is and again go for a walk and really think about this question. What do I really, really want and would bring me the best possible experience.
  4. Now pick the thing you would love to experience in your life that looks like the easiest one to achieve right now.
  5. Now break that up into tiny steps and spread it out over a period of time so it looks totally achievable and easy for you to do.
  6. Set a day to start this and a finishing day for this particular thing you really want to do.
  7. Now tell a close friend or family member your plan and make a promise to them that you will do all the steps and report each step to them when you have completed it. Tell them if you do not check-in with them after each step that you will forfeit something to them. This can be either Money or a task you have to do for them as Compensation for not keeping your promise. You will have a massive resistance to this as Ego does not want to play ball at this time. At the same time, Ego does not want to lose the forfeit and will ensure that you carry out this task as it doesn't like to lose face. It will also come up with every excuse why it couldn't do the task before or during the task so be aware of this. This is simply resistance to change, Like a child not wanting to go for a walk when his favourite programme is on the TV. All this will pass over time so make sure you have secured yourself with a solid system.
  8. Finally, Celebrate at the end of the week for a job well done. This is a little treat for you and Ego and a joint venture successfully completed. Ego loves to be congratulated and giving a treat, just like a child would get for being so good during the week. all of this strengthens your relationship with the Ego and will allow further development and success.

I hope you enjoyed this post on how to manage the Ego. My next post will be on releasing Guilt and the benefits of that.

Please visit my previous posts in this series. All the posts are based on a coaching course in am creating. You are welcome to attempt any things that I suggest and make a comment. If you need any further questions answered then please let me know. You can contact me privately on the contact form if you wish

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Freedom Design
Freedom Design was Created in 2018 by Mike Kiernan. Mike Decided to make some Career Changes in 2016  after 30 years working in Various businesses. He underwent extensive Training in Spiritual Life Coaching and is now sharing his teachings with the General Public.  
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